N.I.C.O.L.E

naughty. indecisive. critical. outspoken. loving. eclectic.

You will fall in love with someone who annoys you, whose orgasm face looks and feels pathetic. Despite all of this, there’s something keeping you drawn to them, something that makes you want to protect them from the harsh world. What you fail to realize, however, is that you are the harsh world. You aren’t their noble protector — you are someone to be protected from but it takes a lot of dates, a lot of nights where you question whether or not you are actually a good person, for this to ever resonate with you. When it’s over and whatever love is left is put back in the fridge like a sad plate of leftovers, you will finally understand that you have the power to hurt someone. You can either hurt them or love them and it’s up to you to decide what kind of role you would like to take on in future relationships. What feels more comfortable — being the one who loves more or being the one who’s loved less?

You will fall in love with someone who’s cold and always seemingly pushing you away. When all is said and done, they will be forever known as the one person you couldn’t get to love you. Unfortunately, it will hurt and sting worse than the good ones, the ones that chopped up your meat for you and picked out an eyelash from your eye and were nice to your mother, because love often feels like a game we need to win. And when we lose, when we realize we couldn’t get what we ultimately desired from a person, it makes us feel like a failure and erases all the memories of those who loved us in the past. It’s a permanent smudge on your love resume.

You will fall in love with someone for one night and one night only. They’ll come to you when you need them and be gone in the morning when you don’t. At first, this will make you feel empty and you’ll try to convince yourself that you could’ve loved this person for longer than a night, but you can’t. Some people are just meant to make cameo appearances, some are destined to be a pithy footnote. That’s okay though. Not every person we love has to stick around. Sometimes it’s better to leave while you’re still ahead. Sometimes it’s better to leave before you get unloved.

You will fall in love with the old couple down the street because to you they represent the impossible: a stable, long-lasting love. You’re trying to get someone to like you for more than ten minutes. A monogamous “never get sick of ya” love seems unfathomable. “What’s your secret, sir? Do you just say yes a lot?”

You will fall in love with smells, the good and the bad kind. You will want to wear your lovers shirt because it makes you feel close to them and you’re okay with being that PYSCHO who is legitimately sniffing their shirt in public. You will fall in love with sweat, certain perfumes, the smell of the season in which you fell in love. This particular love smells like fall. It smells like Halloween and a roaring fire and leaves and fog and mist and candy and food and family and whiskey and sex and the lint that collects on sweaters. When it ends, if it ends, you will never experience another fall without thinking of him, her, it. The memories will stick to the ground like a mound of leaves and will only dissipate when the weather drops.

You will fall in love with your friends. Deep, passionate love. You will create a second family with them, a kind of tribe that makes you feel less vulnerable. Sometimes our families can’t love us all the time. Sometimes we’re born into families who don’t know how to love us properly. They do as much as they can but the rest is up to our friends. They can love you all the time, without judgement. At least the good ones can.
This is where I’m supposed to tell you that you will fall in love with The One, a person who isn’t too cold or too nice. Their “O” face is perfectly fine and they’re not afraid to show how much they love you. This person is supposed to wait for us at the end of the twentysomething road as some kind of reward for all the heartache and loneliness. We deserve them. We’ve earned this kind of love.

So fine. You’re going to fall in love with The One. You’re going to fall in love with someone who will make sense beyond college or a job or a particular season. They’ll make sense forever and won’t ever want to leave you behind. I’m telling you this not because it’s true but because it NEEDS to be true. Everyone is entitled to this kind of love, so why not? Have it. It’s yours. Blow out the candles on your 30th birthday, holding their hand, and let out an exhale that’s been waiting for ten years. Do it. Now

hitrecordjoe:

Saying cheese with Mumford and Sons before they hit rehearsal! :oD #SNL
ps. if Tumblr insists on tagging my posts with the ‘celebs’ tag, could they at-least put that bullshit after the ones I write myself? Shiiiiiiit.

I am in love with Joe. He’s what a real person, not celebrity, should be like. Super genuine and totally unique.

hitrecordjoe:

Saying cheese with Mumford and Sons before they hit rehearsal! :oD #SNL

ps. if Tumblr insists on tagging my posts with the ‘celebs’ tag, could they at-least put that bullshit after the ones I write myself? Shiiiiiiit.

I am in love with Joe. He’s what a real person, not celebrity, should be like. Super genuine and totally unique.

All the things that get passed around the office, and this is the one that’s stuck out to me lately… Sigh. I’m sappy… I know. There’s just something about him. Not to mention… I’m looking at 12 like “Yes, that’s what I want.” :D

1) You’ve Got it Goin’ On

It takes two whole people to make a whole relationship. This means you enjoy a full life with friends, family, a career and social life that fulfill you. You’re confident, and you don’t expect marriage to instantly fix your problems.

2) You Enjoy the Mundane Moments

Marriage is not one long date. Being ready to get engaged means that you truly enjoy each other’s company. You’re okay with just being together sometimes, even while running errands or doing chores.

3) You’re Ready to Burn your Little Black Book

Marriage means being exclusive with one person for the rest of your life. In many cases, it also means forsaking contact with exes and anyone else who may threaten your union. If the idea of monogamy makes you feel secure and confident in your relationship, then engagement will be a comfortable next step for you.

4) You Bring out the Best in each Other

Cheesy, we know. But ask yourself if this person makes you a better person. Are you kinder, more patient and more pleasant to be around when your snookums is near?

5) You’re a Team Player

Compromise isn’t always 50/50. Sometimes it’s 100/0. If you want to vacation at Disney World but your mate would rather go to the Bahamas, then a 50/50 compromise leaves you both adrift in the Atlantic Ocean. You’re ready to get engaged if you can handle not getting your way sometimes. It’s not about winners and losers. It’s not about being a doormat. It’s about using “we” statements and serving someone besides yourself.

6) You Cheerlead for Each Other

Before you swap rings you should already be each other’s biggest fans. When your sweetie masters a level of Guitar Hero, you’re there with a high five. When you complete that 5K run for charity, your honey surprises you at the finish line with a gift certificate for a massage.

7) You’re an Open Book

There are no off-limits topics with your main squeeze. You can get real about your worries, dreams, frustrations and mess-ups without fear of being judged. You can cry when you feel like crying. In marriage, living as a 24/7 partnership, there’s no way you can keep your guard up all the time. If you and your significant other enjoy a “you can tell me anything” relationship, then that’s a great start.

8) You Fight Fair

Every couple has conflicts. It’s how you handle them that makes the difference. If you can disagree respectfully, then your relationship is headed in the right direction.

9) You have Similar Values

You both want kids. Or you both don’t want kids. You’re both savers. Or you’re both spenders. You two don’t have to share a brain – after all, part of the beauty of marriage is that you’ll complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses – but it helps to be headed in the same direction. If you already agree on the big stuff, then smaller issues, like who does the laundry, will be easier to tackle.

10) Your Friends and Family Accept your Choice

Your main squeeze shares car care tips with your dad and sends birthday cards to your grandma. If the people who know you best give your sweetheart two thumbs up, then that’s a green flag to pop the question.

11) You’re Thinking Long Term

You start brown bagging your lunch and put the savings into a “rainy day” bank account. When picking out new furniture, you opt for the king-size bed so there’s room for two. You make long-term plans together, like booking a ski trip for next Valentine’s Day, because you assume you’ll still be a couple.

12) You’d Elope

Do you want a wedding or do you want to be married? The event is fun, but it lasts only one day. Would you still want to spend the rest of your life together even if there were no dress, cake and Cha Cha Slide? If so, then your desire to get hitched is probably coming from a pure place.

Today we planted some gardenias and azelas in our front yard.  We also hung some beautiful pink flowers - love them.

the difference between mine and joe’s families is extremely remarkable.  i realize that i’m grateful that my family is amazingly accepting - and even though they want joe and i to get married, they don’t exclude him from the term ‘family’ because we aren’t. i understand that it is not joe’s complete family, but the fact that they just allow that part of the family to push everyone else around and decide who is considered ‘family’ when they are in town is ree-dick-u-luss. sad thing is… i’m not even sure it would change if we got engaged… if that ever happens. i can say though, that, if it does not change or get better and this is year four… i’m not sure if i can accept that going into year five.